What Not To Do When Hanging Up Christmas Lights

Here we go folks, a blog post from experience. Lots and lots of experience. I am talking, expert levels of experience.. in doing Christmas lights all wrong.
Don’t get me wrong, I go all out for the holidays. Massive levels of holiday cheer, here. But I am also disorganized, impatient and a HUGE procrastinator. And as such, I have pretty much mastered the art of What Not To Do When Hanging Up Christmas Lights. Check out my sage and tried and true advice below!

Don’t Wait Till A Week or Two Before Christmas to Hang the Lights

One of my biggest pet peeves – and I mean BIGGEST – are houses decorated for Christmas before Thanksgiving or after New Years Day. Seriously, any Christmas décor prior to or after these dates should be a hanging offence. (I would be a fair and just ruler. The peasants shall rejoice with me in charge.)
So with such a slim window for Christmas lights, it only makes sense to, ya know, NOT wait till the very last minute to decorate for the season. Hours and hours of work on the house, just to take it down a few weeks later? LAME!
We did this last year. I vowed we would not do this again this year. Did I succeed? Well, no. But its only two weeks and two days till Christmas, so technically I *have* improved. At this rate we will have a timely decorated house by the time I am 50.

Don’t Store Christmas Lights by Wadding Them Up and Throwing Them in Storage

This has been me. Every year. It drives my husband nuts and I don’t blame him one bit. It drives ME nuts! But I have to keep doing it now because, well, tradition.
See this photo? This is an actual Christmas storage bin filled with actual Christmas décor and lights, as it was when I opened it. Aint it lovely?


So this. Don’t do it. Just don’t. It takes five annoying minutes to wind up this little boogers post-holidays, but it beats the 30 plus minute it takes to untangle them when you are belatedly decorating your house two weeks before Christmas..

Don’t Hang Up Lights Without a Plan

So I had this awesome plan to hang those pretty icicle strands of twinkle lights all along the branches of a very tall tree, that none of our ladders really reached up to. So I had the husband (bless his patient heart) shimmy up our ladder, up onto the roof, and then up even higher onto a limb on the tree that barely reached the branches I wanted decorated. Oh, and did I mention he has a healthy fear of heights??
So there he is, precariously perched on a limb on the tree, and then I advised the husband to decorate the limbs, or something. Any way he could. No real plan in mind. So the decorations pretty much consisted of throwing strands of tangles icicle twinkle lights all of the place. A couple hours, and a blob of twinkly lights later, and we decided the lights need to come down because.. well, it was ugly as butt.
So before you risk falling off a house for some Christmas cheer, be sure you know what you want, where you want it, how its going to get (and stay there) and all that jazz.


Don’t Hang Up Lights and THEN Check For Broken Strands

Okay, in our defense, were usually good on this point. I mean, who DOESN’T want to eagerly plug in twinkly lights for sparkly glowing selfies?
But this year, in an attempt to get the lights up before the babies ate them, we did a quick plug in, without really LOOKING at them, and once the lights were up (including those pesky ugly tree branch fail lights) we realized.. huge portions of the lights were out. Im not talking a few lights here and there.. I mean, huge lengths of lights.
So, so, SO much fail. Spending time out in the cold and bossing your husband around asking him to defy gravity while pacifying two crying babies just to find out that your poorly thought out light display is half defective? Just, no. We packed it all up and took it back in the house so we could leisurely look and inspect the lights the RIGHT way.. with our little ones doing all the hard work, of course.

So there you have it. A highly researched, scientific analysis of what not to this holiday season, brought to you by a Christmas Fail Expert. YOUR WELCOME. And Merry Christmas! <3