Yay! Another book review!! *runs around in circles*
This was another “read-with-the-hubby” book, where I pretend to be an audio book voice actress in the car in lieu of listening to my iPod. (Which is quite the sacrifice, lemme tell you, because my iPod is filled with some PHAT beats, yo.)
Anyhoo, while browsing through the available titles for mom bloggers to have a go at, I chose Be the Dad She Needs You to Be: The Indelible Imprint a Father Leaves on His Daughter’s Life by Dr. Kevin Leman because with a tiny brand new baby girl in my possession, it seemed like it would be a worthwhile and edifying read.
About The Book
Book description from Amazon.com:
A call to dads to step up to the plate to become the loving, actively engaged father that a daughter needs for life and relational success.
The relationship that matters most to your daughter isn’t the one with her mother—it’s the one with you, Dad. Her self-esteem, choices, behavior, character, and even her ideas about or choice of a marriage partner are all directly tied to you, as the most important representative to her of the male species.
In Be the Dad She Needs You to Be Dr. Kevin Leman, internationally-known psychologist, New York Times best-selling author, and father of four daughters, will show you not only how to get the fathering job done and done well, but also how to:
– Make each daughter feel unique, special, and valued
– Discipline the right way . . . when it’s needed
– Talk turkey about what guys are really thinking
– Keep the critical eye at bay
– Wave the truce flag when females turn your family room into a battleground
– Set your daughter up for life and relational success
With some effort on your part (and very few dollars), you can gain the kind of relationship you dream of with your daughter—one based on mutual love and respect. The simple yet profound suggestions will transform you into the kind of man your daughter needs . . . for a lifetime.
My Thoughts On The Book
Having one of the best dads on the planet myself, and growing up with the textbook model of a good father, learning about the indelible imprint a daddy leaves was not new news to me. I’m very aware of the impact my dad had on my life, and the negative, overwhelming void I would have in my life had he not been there for me growing up (or even now into adulthood!).
Likewise, I’m blessed to have an amazing husband who takes his role as dad very seriously, and is already well acquainted with the information in this book. So did we learn anything new or have we gained any new insights into parenting while reading this book? Not really, no.
But that’s not to say it isn’t a good solid read that could easily be life-altering and eye opening for some. The information is solid, sound, the majority is Biblically based, and it’s delivered in a straight-forward and frank manner.
This is a book that our society greatly needs, with its “optional” fatherhood mentality. The stakes are too high, and the risks of fatherlessness too great. If these kinds of reads were pushed on our youth in school as fervently as sex ed and “family planning” options are, we would see a difference for the better in the American family in just one generation.
As far as vital and helpful information goes, this book is five stars. The only reason why I might knock it down to a four star read is:
It reads kind of like an autobiography at times, which I find particularly laborious. Furthermore, the author clearly cannibalizes his previous works, and throws in one too many shameless “read my other books” plugs.
And the one peeve of mine is that while he cautions against stereotyping daughters, he constantly and persistently stereotyped fathers and dads. At times, Jonathan and I would just put the book down and be like, “Whaaaat?” The instances were far too numerous, and some were not as bad as others, but for example, he constantly refers to dads and men being unable to cook, or lacking the ability to enjoy cooking. He evens makes a couple of jokes about how watching cooking shows and the cooking channel is being something exclusive the women-folk and indulging in such activities – even begrudgingly – is worthy of losing the “man-card”. What planet is he living on?? The culinary arts are largely peopled by MEN, with women being a minority in that arena. So not only does he stereotype men, he stereotypes them inaccurately.
Also, I don’t agree with his “birth order” theory, which makes up a good portion of his advice in this book. It’s not true in my case, or in my husbands. It smacks of more horoscope generalities, than any kind of science – even the soft science of psychology.
But for the vital information that comprises the majority of this read, I would say it is a good book that I’ll be happy to keep on my reference shelf.
[Disclaimer: There are no affiliate links in this review. I am an independent product reviewer. I only review products I am truly interested in. I don’t accept payment for reviews. The products I take the time to jabber on about are either items I have personally purchased, or the product has been provided for review after me incessantly nagging for a sample. All of my reviews are unbiased regardless of how the item was obtained.]
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