My entire life, I always heard the advice to “love yourself”. To have and to cultivate “self-love”. It seemed obvious and easy. Don’t we all love ourselves?
So I just brushed that advice aside. I figured I already loved myself.
A few years ago, trying to (partially successfully) lose the weight between pregnancies, I discovered the work and guidance of weight loss guru Jon Gabriel and The Gabriel Method. Using guided visualizations, and reading through Jon’s book, I ran into the concept of blocking ourselves off from weight loss and using weight gain as a form of psychological protection when we don’t truly love ourselves.
Guys, I literally rolled my eyes at this concept. Why in the world would I WANT to gain weight, even on a subconscious level?! That most certainly didn’t apply to me (I thought). I love myself. I want what’s best for myself. Blah blah blah.
Fast forward to earlier this year. After ballooning up to my largest weight ever after 3 pregnancies and binging like crazy during Covid, I found myself focusing once again on weight loss with the New Year, but I knew that this time it HAD TO BE DIFFERENT if I wanted to end this yo yo diet cycle once and for all. I had to get at the root of my self-sabotage, overeating, over-drinking and self-punishment with food. I was ready to admit that my problem is less with what I put into my mouth, and more what’s going on in my heart and my mind.
I know that I have the self-discipline to take all the fitness and nutrition steps to shed the weight – I had done it multiple times before. I knew I could muscle through and cram my body through the right steps, the right motions, the right routines. But I knew, deep down, that lasting change HAD TO COME FROM DEEPER.
The Moment the Lightbulb Went Off for Me
It dawned on me, after my husband snapped a candid photo of me playing with my kids in the snow this past Christmas, that I don’t really like myself, let alone love myself. Sure, I wanted to be alive, I wasn’t suicidal. But I hated looking at that picture of myself.
And it wasn’t just the photo itself. It wasn’t just my physical appearance. It was all of me. I just didn’t want to SEE that woman in the photo. I didn’t want to be near her. She made me sad and deflated and unhappy.
Here is where the transformational realization kicked in…. at the very height of my disgust and self-loathing, while looking at myself, my eyes flitted over to my daughter in the same photo, and in an instant my heart flooded with pure, overwhelming, all-encompassing love toward her. The quantum leap from loathing to pure love was jolting to say the least.
And then I realized, in that instance…
I deserve a love like that.
I deserve to love myself in the same way that I love my daughter.
I tried to picture if my love for my daughter would ever fade if she were to gain 100 extra pounds as an adult and the thought was preposterous, laughable even. No amount of excess weight would EVER mar or dim my love for my kids. What a silly thought. Then I realized, that all along, my lack of self love wasn’t because of my weight gain. I realized for the first time, my tendency to gain weight is more a reflection of my inner landscape than I realized.
In that moment I decided I needed help on loving myself… really, truly, deeply loving myself. And that this love needed to happen BEFORE any weight loss attempts, otherwise I would just be yo-yoing between periods of self-discipline and self-sabotage over and over and over.
So I invested in some books on shadow work, healing my inner child and self-love. I wanted to share with you this book that has made a noticeable impact on the way I view myself and has drastically increased by self-perception and self-love.
Love Your Body: A Positive Affirmation Guide for Loving and Appreciating Your Body by Louise Hay is an absolute game changer.
This book goes through the body, literally from head to toe, and focuses on each body part with a series of affirmations that express gratitude and love for every single part and aspect of your body.
Spending time in gratitude for the most random body parts, like loving my scalp or my ears, has opened by eyes to how I relate to each part of myself, both internally and externally. I have found that after days, weeks, and now months of focusing on a body part a day and expressing affirmations of gratitude and love toward myself, my mindset has COMPLETELY shifted.
It’s inspired me to dive deeper into healing my inner child and really loving myself fully, with the same raw abandon I shower on my own children.
If you struggle with self-love in ANY WAY, I 100% recommend this book. It is a game changer, ya’ll!
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MY CURRENT WELLNESS JOURNEY STATS
Start Weight (January 1, 2021): 217.8 pounds
Current Weight (June 8, 2021): 173.4 pounds
Total Pounds Lost: 44.4 pounds
Pounds Left to Lose to Reach Goal Weight of 130 pounds: 43.4 pounds
Current Challenge: 21 Day Elevate Your Shower Time Challenge
Current Area of Focus: Loving and cultivating my mind.
Beautiful topic, it’s really important to cultivate self-love!
Kisses, Paola.
Expressyourself
My Instagram
I couldn’t agree more! I just wish I’d known this earlier in life.. would have saved me a lot of inner work!
I truly agree! Self-love is important! Thanks for this recommendation, I will check it out.
xoxo
Lovely
http://www.mynameislovely.com
I believe it’s only $1.99 on Kindle / Amazon books right now.. totally worth the digital download!
Very interesting topic! Thanks for sharing.
Infinitely Posh
Of course love, thanks for stopping by! <3
Hi
Self love is the most important topic for good mental health, thanks for this post!
xoxo
marisasclosetblog.com
Absolutely! I am realizing this basic truth more and more as I get older…
Beautiful post! Self-love is so important and needs to be talked about more. Thanks for sharing x
Lynn
I think the misconception is, if you are working on self-love, you don’t love yourself… or something like that? Regardless, it is SO vital to work on this as a lifelong pursuit!
Louise Hay is such an amazing woman! So glad she inspired you. Self love is so important!
https://www.kathrineeldridge.com
I always heard her name being thrown around in quotes and self-improvement circles… never did take the time to discover her work until this spring! Looking forward to reading her other works!
Happy Sunday darling!
Kisses, Paola.
Expressyourself
My Instagram
I love this book already Cris
http://www.photosbycris.com.au/?p=14691
It’s a good one!
This is such a great post. You are amazing that you are sharing this and I’m sure you are touching so many! Good luck in your journey! I might need to check out that book!
<3 <3 <3 Thank you Laura! Your kind words made me smile!