This book, Still Here by Ram Dass, was recommended to me as a good source of putting things into spiritual perspective when dealing with issues of aging, changing and even dying.
Now, I’m not dying, but I am certainly struggling to come to terms with what my “new body” and “new normal” is as a 35 year old woman. I still so closely identify with my 15 year old body, that it get confusing, shocking, depressing and conflicting when I target “problem areas”. Will these areas “go back to normal” as in… 15 year old normal? What does a thin 35 year old me, after having 3 children, look like?
I have stretch marks now, those aren’t going anywhere. Looser skin with less elasticity means I won’t have that tight stomach anymore.. but surely I can get CLOSE? It will be different, yes, but HOW different? And while I’m worried about my skin, the skin around my eyes seems to be looser… not as tight and vibrant… are those the start of wrinkles?! People are already starting to comment on my grey hairs which are growing in in streaks. While it doesn’t bother me, it somehow worries me.
Things are… changing. What is “normal” now, once I’ve regained a healthy weight and vibrant health. It’s undeniable that aspects of my body from my teen years are gone forever… but which ones? What do I have to let go of, and what can I hold on to and pursue? And why does this all bother me SO MUCH?!
So while this book is primarily written from seniors facing their sunset years, it’s overarching “story” and message is one that I felt would resonate with me on a deep level. It speaks to letting go, looking at the bigger picture and accepting and embracing the natural rhythms of our lives as we age. While most of the book addressed issues of dealing with limited mobility, pain and so on, it did serve as a reminder of how natural and even wonderful the cycles of life, moving forward, can be.
I’m blessed to be a year older. I’m blessed to be in good health, even as my body bears the scars of living my life. I’m blessed to be free from weight-induced illnesses, even as my body carried the excess weight from my years of neglect and harmful habits. Regardless of what my outer shell looks like, my inner being is marching ever forward toward embracing health and wellness and peace and love and living in alignment with my Spirit AND the body it inhabits.
There is a sweet sorrow that comes from accepting that I am no longer a teenager but am, in fact, a middle aged woman with three children growing so fast that it seems someone hit the fast forward button on my life. But my life is far from over, and what matters NOW is living in this present moment and honoring my life’s journey, and honoring and properly caring for the body that has carried me through this amazing trip – scars, aging skin and all!
This book, while not written for my age demographic, was still a relevant read and wonderful reminder to live within this beautiful tapestry of life as it unfurls in this present moment. It is a refreshing spiritual reminder as I march forward in this weight loss and health and wellness journey. I would recommend it if you are also having your very own, “Oh shit, I’m not a teenager or a young adult anymore!!” mid-life crises.
More about Still Here from Amazon.com:
More than thirty years ago, an entire generation sought a new way of life, looking for fulfillment and meaning in a way no one had before. Leaving his teaching job at Harvard, Ram Dass embodied the role of spiritual seeker, showing others how to find peace within themselves in one of the greatest spiritual classics of the twentieth century, the two-million-copy bestseller Be Here Now. As many of that generation enter the autumn of their years, the big questions of peace and of purpose have returned demanding answers. And once again, Ram Dass blazes a new trail, inviting all to join him on the next stage of the journey.
CURRENT STATS
Start Weight (May 15, 2020): 201 pounds
Current Weight (July 7, 2020): 184.4
Total Pounds Lost (Since May 15, 2020): 16.6
Pounds Left to Lose to Reach Goal Weight of 130 pounds: 54.4
OVERVIEW
MONTH ONE: 12.8 pounds lost
MONTH TWO (still in progress): 3.8 pounds lost
