Your Success Depends on What You Say When You Talk to Yourself

The most profound truths are often the simplest. Want to know the one concept that has absolutely rocked my world recently? (And continues to change my daily experience on deeper levels each new day?) The concept that literally transformed my mind, my internal dialogue, my patience, my dreams, my self-talk? The one thing that has measurably made me a better mother, a better teacher, a better photographer and a better wife?

Here it is…. You ready???…. Ahem…..

You are what you think.

That’s it. That’s the truth. You are what you think. If you’re raising your eyebrow at me with a “so what?” shrug, just hear me out. Think about it. Your success or failure in anything large or small will depend on what you say when you talk to yourself.

As intangible as thoughts are (have you ever seen a thought?) they are very real, very measurable and and in a sense, very physical things. It is a simple biological fact that every thought we think, every conscious or unconscious thought we say to ourselves, is translated into electrical impulses in the brain. These impulses in turn directly stimulate chemical and electric functions in the body that affect every motion, every feeling, and every action we take. And this happens every moment of every day.

As humans who have evolved to watch out for threats and dangers lurking in every corner, we are actually hardwired to see the negative more than the positive. Our brains have a built-in negative bias that causes us to focus on bad things. Consider this: Leading behavioral researchers have told us that as much as 77% of everything we think is negative and counterproductive and works against us. This biological function is intended to keep us physically safe. This means that being fuddy duddies is one of our biological birthrights, it’s literally part of our “welcome to your human body” package. 

But is this really a way to live? 

Think for a moment what you might do differently tomorrow if your thoughts and core beliefs were different.

Imagine all negative self talk is just gone, that nagging voice that makes snarky and snide commentary, that judges, that frets, that nags… poof, gone! Imagine what it would be like to have that voice replaced with positive words, positive attitudes and unshakeable beliefs that fostered feelings of courage, confidence, creativity and unbridled joy. Imagine that every thought you think, in every moment, results in an abundance of self-belief, enthusiasm and personal achievement. How different would your life be in ONE DAY? A week? A month? A year? Ten years??

So how do we get there? Well, we are human after all, and we are wired to go to “the bad place” mentally. But to a large degree, our thoughts are our choice. They are in our control. You can choose to shake things up in your head, and watch it spill out into your daily life in ways you may not even have imagined.

It all starts with taking a more mindful approach to our minds. (Huh?) Okay, let me explain. 

We first need to be aware of our own tendency toward negativity. Next, we need to consciously and intentionally  elevate happier thoughts to the forefront of our awareness. CHOOSE to replace negative chatter with thoughts that build you up and empower you. With thoughts that lifts your mood, and boosts your confidence.

Then do it again. And again. And again. Commit to a lifelong journey of repeating positivity and love and joy and happiness into the neural networks of your physical brain. Wear such a groove into those new pathways in your brain that they become superhighways.

Because your brain will believe what you tell it the most. And what you tell it about you it will create. 

We need to grasp what marketers have known for ages: that repetition is a convincing argument. With repetition, positive beliefs CAN and WILL be physically wired into your brain, literally grooved into your brain’s landscape of neural networks. You’ll soon find that knee-jerk self-talk starts to surprise you.

An example from my daily life – I used to be the WORST with putting myself down over silly things. Dropped my toothbrush in the morning? “Great job, Gingi. Real smooth. Freaking klutz. EXAGGERATED SIGH.”

I was actually SHOCKED the first time I did something silly and benign like dropping a toothbrush and without thinking, instead of berating myself, I blurted out with a loving smile, “You silly goose, why did you drop that gorgeous girl? Bright side: I needed to sanitize this toothbrush anyway! You are so unintentionally productive!” It literally made me laugh out loud to hear myself indulging in over the top positive self-talk without even being intentional. It was just… a new normal. Like… whoa.

ANYWAYS, I’m just sharing this personal revelation with you guys because, again.. The most profound truths are often the simplest…

You already have all of the necessary equipment you need within you to change your life in a radical way.

While it is true that you were born with an innate negativity bias to keep you physically safe in this great big beautiful world of ours, the truth also is, you were born with everything you need to live your life in a most exceptional and worthwhile way.

It makes no difference what you have thought or what you have done in the past. From this day forward you can choose to change the way you think for the better, which in turn will change the way you live and act and dream and play and love and grow.

YOU have the power. YOU have the choice. YOU are what YOU think.